letters from dickinson to austin dickinson

13 July 1851

You must'nt care Dear Austin, Vinnie and I cant come - it is'nt any matter, I hope you a'nt troubled about it. We were disappointed at first, because not very well, and thinking while at Boston we would see Aunt Lavinia's physician; we didn't want to tell you why we were bent on coming, thinking now you were gone you might feel anxious about us - we knew it would worry you and therefore made our plans to come now and see you, and saying not a word to any but Aunt L - follow the advice of her Homeopathic physician. If we had told our reasons for coming at this time we should have seemed more reasonable in wishing so much to come, and we knew you would have us at once tho' it might not be convenient.

We are not very sick, we work and go out and have company, but neither of us are well - Dr. Brewster has fussed until we are satisifed that he does'nt know what ails us, and we are tired and wearied of being under his care. Father has great confidence in Dr Dean of Greenfield, and thinks sometime this week we may ride up and see him. If he cant tell what ails us, nor do us any good, then we will come in the autumn and see the other man.

Do not feel anxious for us - I think we will soon be well - we have been ailing sometime but not very seriously, and Dr Brewster has tried one thing after another till we are most discouraged, and sometimes we think to ourselves that we shant ever get well, but I guess we shall. I long so to see you Austin, and hear your happy voice, it will do us all more good than any other medicine. Do not blame yourself for what you said and did, and do not allow our friends to reproach themselves at all - we knew you had kindest reasons and thank you and them for so kindly consulting our pleasure.

When you go back in the autumn we can see you then, and you must'nt think anything about it, or care for what you wrote. I dont know what Father said - did know not he was going to write you - your sorrowful letter was our first intimation that ever he had written, and I guess we felt as badly to get such a letter from you, as you did or could at what you heard from Father. I feel so grieved, dear Austin, if Father has blamed you, Viny and me are the ones if there is a fault anywhere - we should have told you frankly why we wished to come - but did'nt want to worry you as we feared we should. Never mind it Austin - we shall see you soon and tell you all these things which seem obscure when written. Tell all our friends and Joel that we would love to see them but think we will stay at home and come some other time - much love to them all. Joel must'nt look in any of the Depots for he wont find us there, and it would give him trouble. You must'nt think of such a thing as seeing us now, for we have decided, and think not best to come.

Vinnie will write you soon - sends her love - mine too. Mother sends her love and a little curl of her hair "to put you in mind of your affectionate mother" - Sue and Martha send love. Bowdoin is haying yet - we expect him soon - take good care of yourself Austin, we shall all be so happy to see your face at home.

It is late - Goodnight - Vinnie is snoring!

thomas johnson's note on letter 47 | index to dickinson/austin dickinson letters

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