letters from dickinson to john l. graves

15 August 1854

Dear John-

Are you very happy? Why did'nt you tell me so before you went away? And why too, did'nt I ask you that pleasant evening long, when we sat and talked together?

I have wanted to ask you many times, and I thought you would tell me, but someone would come in, and something else would happen and put me all to flight - but tonight, John, so still is it, and the moon so mild, I'm sure that you would tell me, were you sitting here. You know what I mean, dont you, and if you are so happy, I kneel and thank God for it, before I go to sleep.

then you and your former College friend are reconciled again - he told me all about it, and tears of happiness came shining in my eyes. Forgiving one another as Jesus - us.

I have hoped for this very often, John, when you were fast asleep, and my eyes will shut much sooner, now all is peace. I loved to have you both my friends, and friends to one another, and it grieved me very often that you were enemies - now all is safe. It is lonely without you John - we miss you very much, and I'm thinking we'll miss you more when a year from now comes, and the crickets sing.

Quite sad it is when friends go, and sad when all are gone, to sit by pensive window, and recollect them, but I would not forget them - Please not forget us John, in your long vacation - We'll often think of you, and wish that we could see you. Mary is with us yet. Eliza went yesterday morning. I miss her thoughtful eyes, and did not Mary's merry ones linger wish us still, the day would be too long; but Mary strokes the sunshine and coaxes it along, and drives the shadows home - much like a "honie bee" she seems, among more antique insects! She wants me to give you her compliments, and say to you beside, that she thanks you sincerely for the "social capacity,["] which she forgot to do, there were so many in. Good night, and gentle dreams, John - my pen is very bad. I write not any more. Vinnie sends her love.

Mine if you will to Hattie, and for your mother too. Had you been here tonight, John, I should have talked with you - You are not, and I write - I "wish you a merry Christmas," and a vacation as good as summer days are long -


Emilie -

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