letters from dickinson to emily fowler ford

early 1850?

I wanted to write, and just tell you that me, and my spirit were fighting this morning. It is'nt known generally, and you must'nt tell anybody.

I dreamed about you last night, and waked up putting my shawl, and hood on to go and see you, but this wicked snow-storm looked in at my window, and told me I could'nt. I hope God will forgive me, but I am very unwilling to have it storm - he is merciful to the sinning, is'nt he?

I cannot wait to be with you - Oh ugly time, and space, and uglier snow-storm than all! Were you happy in Northampton? I was very lonely without you, and wanted to write you a letter many times, but Kate was there too, and I was afraid you would both laugh. I should be stronger if I could see you oftener - I am very puny alone.

You make me so happy, and glad, life seems worth living for, no matter for all the trials. When I see you I shall tell you more, for I know you are busy this morning.

That is'nt an empty blank where I began - it is so full of affection that you cant see any - that's all. Will you love, and remember, me when you have time from worthier ones? God keep you till I have seen you again!

Very earnestly yrs -

thomas johnson's note on letter 32 | index to dickinson/ford letters

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