Thursday afternoon -|
The sun shines warm, dear Susie, but the sweetest sunshine's gone, and in that far off Manchester, all my blue sky is straying this winter's afternoon. Vinnie and I are here just where you always find us when you come in the afternoon to sit a little while We miss your face today, and a tear fell on my work a little while ago, so I put up my sewing, and tried to write to you. I had rather have talked, dear Susie it seems to me a long while since I have seen you much it is a long while Susie, since we have been together so long since we've spent a twilight, and spoken of what we loved, but you will come back again, and there's all the future Susie, which is as yet untouched! It is the brightest star in the firmament of God, and I look in it's face the oftenest.
I ran to the door, dear Susie I ran out in the rain, with nothing but my slippers on, I called
"Susie, Susie," but you did'nt look at me; then I ran to the dining room window and rapped with
all my might upon the pane, but you rode right on and never heeded me.
It made me feel so lonely, that I could'nt help the tears, when I came back to the table, to
think I was eating breakfast, and you were riding away but bye and bye I thought that the same
ugly coach which carried you away, would have to bring you back again in but a little while, and
the spite pleased me so that I did'nt cry any more till the tear fell of which I told you. And now,
my absent One, I am hoping the days away, till I shall see you home I am sewing as fast as I can,
I am training the stems to my flowers, I am working with all my might, so as to pause and love
you, as soon as you get home.|
How fast we will have to talk then there will be those farewell gaieties and all the days
before, of which I have had no fact, and there will be your absence, and your presence, my Susie
dear, sweetest, and brightest, and best of every and all the themes. It is sweet to talk, dear Susie,
with those whom God has given us, lest we should be alone and you and I have tasted it, and
found it very sweet; even as fragrant flowers, o'er which the bee hums and lingers, and hums more
for the lingering.|
I find it very lonely, to part with one of mine, with mine especially, and the days will have more hours while you are gone away.
They played the trick yesterday they dupe me again today.
Twelve hours make one indeed Call it twice twelve, three times twelve, and add, and add, and add, then multiply again, and we will talk about it.
"At Dover dwells George Brown Esq - Good Carlos Finch and David Fryer" - Oh Susie!
How much escapes me, mine; whether you reached there safely, whether you are a stranger - or
have only just gone home - Whether you find the friends as you fancied you should find them, or
dearer than you expected?|
All this, and more, Susie, I am eager to know, and I shall know soon, shant I? I love to think I shall.
Oh Susie, Susie, I must call out to you in the old, old way I must say how it seems to me to hear the clock so silently tick all the hours away, and bring me not my gift my own, my own!
Perhaps you cant read it, Darling, it is incoherent and blind; but the recollection that prompts it, is very distinct and clear, and reads easily. Susie, they send their love my mother and my sister thy mother and thy sister, and the Youth, the Lone Youth, Susie, you know the rest!
Tell me when you write Susie, if I shall send my love to the Lady where you stay!
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Transcription and commentary copyright 1996 by Martha Nell Smith, all rights reserved
Last updated on July 14, 1998
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