Emily Dickinson's Correspondences
Correspondence with Susan Dickinson

H L15a           Wednesday noon Will you forgive me, Susie, I cannot stay away[;] and it is not me only - that writes the note today - dear Mattie's heart is here, tho' her hand is not quite strong enough to hold a pen today. I have just come home from your home, and I promised Mattie I would write you, and tell you about her. Now dont feel anxious, dear Susie, Mattie is only sick a little and Dr Smith and I, are going to cure her right away in a day - and she will be so much stronger than she was before. She has a disordered stomach, and coughs some, which Dr Smith says is owing to the stomach- and more immediately, to a cold she has taken[;] he says she will soon be well, and she looks so sweet and happy- that could you see her, Susie- you would

H L15b

think she was playing sick- just to lie in the grand french bedstead and have dear little vials sitting on the stand. I told Mattie this morning- she looked so sweet and patient, and willing to be sick; Mattie looked up so funny, and said she "was'nt willing" and I need'nt have any such little notions in reference to her; so my dear Susie, you see she is quite herself, and will be very strong and well in a day or two.

She has'nt got your letter, owing she thinks to the great snow storm, which blocked up all the railroads, and dont give us any mail[;] and Susie- I am so credulous, and so easily deluded by this fond heart of mine- that I am supposing snow storms have got my letter too- and I shant lay it to you, but to the wicked snow storm, if mine does not come too!

H L15c

I told Mattie this morning, that I felt all taken away, without her, or Susie, and indeed I have thought today of what would become of me when the "bold Dragon" shall bear you both away, to live in his high mountain- and leave me here alone; and I could have wept bitterly over the only fancy of ever being so lone and then Susie, I thought how these short adieus of our's might Oh Sue, they might grow sadder and longer, and that bye and bye they would not be said any more, not any more forever, for that of our precious band, some one should pass away.

Such thoughts will come and come- now you are gone away- and I watch your letters Susie, to see if they grow saintlier, and more like Susie Spirit, than my dear earthly child. Forgive me a smile, Susie, on a subject

H L15d

near my heart, but for the last few weeks and days- they are so evanescent that I cant see them at all[;] dear Susie, please be corporal, it would so comfort me! The days dont go very fast- I shall certainly have to poke them- if they dont go along; yet they do move a little, and bounding o'er them all- I meet the glad July- and have you in my arms[;] Oh Susie- you shall come, tho the time be ever so long, and go ever so slowly- and I should get so tired, if it was'nt for faith. You may have faith too Susie- I will not take it all, and besides, "eno' and to spare" for Vinnie and Mattie. Susie, dont worry a bit, for Mattie- she is'nt sick but a little, and I will write again in two or three days- to tell you she has got well[;] and when you would love, dear Susie, so would I better, to have letter from you. Emilie

Love, much love!


H L15

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Transcription and commentary copyright 1996 by Martha Nell Smith, all rights reserved
Last updated on July 14, 1998
Maintained by Tanya Clement <tclement@umd.edu>